Close to the Heart Articles

Partners – do they make a difference?

24/4/2022

How has your partner helped with your breastfeeding journey? What ways did your partner find to bond with your baby?

I am coming up to a total of five years of breastfeeding between my two sons. While nursing is an easy choice now, and often my favourite five minutes in my day, I remember a time when it was tears, anxiety and physical discomfort. The biggest contributor in having this nursing relationship work is how my husband prioritised and perceived breastfeeding in our family. He was

nursed well into toddlerhood; his mother was a La Leche League Leader in the 1980s and he believed strongly in the benefits of human milk for human babies. He believed in me. This meant, with our first child, advocating our choice at doctor’s appointments when the scales disappointed, getting lactation consultants over until we were certain the latch was effective, taking turns walking our newborn during “witching hour” to give my body a break, reading many online forums and articles about breastfeeding, and encouraging lots of outings together with the never-ending nursing in the early days. I'm so proud of myself for sticking with it and of my husband for believing in me and being there every step of the way – Kay Herb, Hong Kong

I always knew that I would breastfeed, so it really wasn't a question for my husband. During a prenatal breastfeeding class, he listened carefully; after a quick mental calculation he shocked the entire room with the conclusion, "A mother will spend about eight hours per day breastfeeding!" This is when we began

to get a sense of the enormous life change we were about to experience. When the doctor prescribed formula on our daughter's third day of life, my husband didn't fully understand my devastation, but he absolutely supported my wishes and the extra work it took to get our baby nursing effectively: he cooked, cleaned, changed diapers, and brought the baby to me as soon as she showed the slightest interest in nursing. As I started attending LLL meetings and reading books from the LLL library, our parenting philosophies solidified and my husband became a strong advocate for breastfeeding and responding to our baby's needs rather than "training". When my husband's close friend asked, "How do you plan to go about weaning at one year old?" he was taken aback; he didn't realise anyone thought that was necessary, and he took the opportunity to share a different view with his friend. Nursing an older toddler and then a preschooler was a bigger leap for my husband than for me, but he also understood that nursing this child today is just as natural as it was yesterday. Now our third daughter is two months old and we look forward to several more years as a breastfeeding family. – Kim Adams, Oman

I’ve always been a night owl whereas my husband is definitely a morning person, and we always assumed that this would somehow be useful when we became parents. Sure enough, we fell into a routine where I would handle nighttime wakings with breastfeeding, while he would be on duty if our babies woke early for the day so that I could sleep a bit longer, at least on weekends. This really helped me get through those early sleep-deprived months. Conversely, he was

grateful to have an uninterrupted night’s sleep – once we had got the hang of breastfeeding, our babies barely made a sound during the night. Before our first child was born, he didn’t have any strong opinions about breastfeeding but was happy to support whatever choice I made. Now he tells all his male friends whose wives are expecting their first baby something like, “Make sure you encourage your wife to breastfeed! There will be bountiful breasts and you won’t have to get up in the night. If your baby bottle-feeds, she’ll have you doing the 3 am feed!”. – Jenny Buck, Hong Kong

Close to the Heart Vol. 17, No. 3 (Late-Year 2016)

Partners – do they make a difference?

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