Wean Me Gently

5/1/2023

by Kim Adams
LLL Leader in Oman

I realised with a start this morning: I can't remember the last time my daughter nursed! This makes me a little sad, yet I am ready for this new stage (mostly).

She has skipped days before, and this time it has probably been only two days, but I simply can't recall. I do remember one afternoon recently she crawled into my lap and asked to nurse; I said yes, but then asked her whether that was what she really wanted. To my surprise she said no and jumped down. That might have been the last request, but I am not sure.

Less than a week ago, I was feeling a little irritated and frustrated that her nursing had increased (it can be quite unpleasant and painful now, in mid- to late-pregnancy). I was also concerned about how she would cope while I would be away on a business trip two months later, if she wanted to breastfeed frequently.

Less than six weeks ago, an acquaintance stopped me to enquire how long we will breastfeed – wasn’t I worried about making her too dependent, wasn't I worried she would never stop, wasn't I making efforts to quit? (I hadn't even realised anyone outside our household knew she wasn't completely done!) I reassured her that I was worried about none of those things and that we would continue as long as we both wished.

And now perhaps she is done.

If she is finished, I will be very glad that it happened on her own terms. I had been less willing recently, due to nipple pain during pregnancy, but only a few times had I completely refused. It is very rewarding to watch her grow into a new stage as she is ready.

When she turned four years old, we started putting her to sleep in her own bed, and she quickly got comfortable falling asleep with my husband instead of me. When she came to our bed in the middle of the night, she often did not nurse. That was only one month ago. During the following month, she was sick and increased nursing and I wondered how long it would go on.

Suddenly, it may be over.

As I reflect on this week, I remember that she was more clingy than usual. I had attributed that to a traumatic event that has affected our entire community, but perhaps it was her need for extra snuggles as she gave up nursing. So this morning I spent a few extra minutes stroking her skin as we shared those lovely first moments of waking up together. Then I revisited one of my favourite poems (see side-bar), which made me cry as usual.

I won't be surprised if she asks to nurse again. It may be today, or next week, or after the baby arrives. I'm not sure what I will say; it will depend on my mood and what else is going on. Just like the rest of our parenting journey, we will take it one moment at a time.

Close to the Heart Vol. 17, No. 2 (Mid-Year 2016)

Wean Me Gently

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